[Mary Keating]
"They didn't expect [Tolkien] to finish all that. I suspect that no one in their right mind expected him to finish all that."
[Ian Brodie]
"Blaming technology is the last refuge of the coward."
"In 1600 and 1650... I'm pulling these numbers out of my ass, but I can back it up."
"The student union presidential candidate gave you cookies? Don't fall for that. Vote for the no-cookie ballot. Eat the cookies, though. Screw 'em."
"This is the first time I've taught with a disc. Because, you know, I'm not a stinkin' hippie."
"You are so lucky that I'm not a bastard."
"It's cute, but it's dirty. Because it's about a rooster."
"Every time I got to Newfoundland, they make jokes [about hooked rugs]. 'I'm a proud hooker! I've been a hooker for years!' They all giggle, and you have to giggle, too."
"That's a lot of feces. That's a cesspit full of feces, which is a standardized unit of measure."
"Let's not have sex in the pooper... in both senses of the word."
[allow me to put this in context: we were discussing the cultural significance of outhouses in Newfoundland, and someone mentioned that these outhouses were once used for sex. A lot of naughty jokes ensued]
"I'm one of those anti-scurvy people, and I don't care who knows it. I'll take a stand."
"That's not the reaction you usually have when you're hit in the testicles, but it had a type of artistry to it."
"I'm going to dance with her. I have to listen to fiddle music to do it, but dammit, I'm going to do it."
"What was I talking about? I was talking about Daniel touching people's butts. And transvestitism."
"AIDS can sort of be funny now."
[Richard Marchand]
Moment of silence for this guy... he's been replaced for the rest of the semester due to medical issues.
"Stamps were sexy in those days."
"She loved sex, which meant she was usually pregnant. It really all comes down to sex, in the end."
"If the daughter fell in love with the chauffeur, my god, there was hell to pay."
"He says, 'Think too much of the body, and you'll go to the wall,' but he should've said 'hell.' Everyone knows that's what he meant, anyway."
[Anna Daniels]
"Okay, we have to stop brainstorming about pizza. It's making me hungry."
"Ad infinitum. It means, to infinity... and beyond! I'm kidding."
"That's what I should do. I should get some Donald Trump hair and give you a whole bunch of scenarios and just say 'You're fired' if you give me the wrong answer."
"Well, they can go suck a lemon."
"They don't get any more funding from the government. But it's good because they're no longer connected to stupid Harper and his sweater vests."
"They used to say girls were stupid. Ah, how the tables have turned!"
"Let the reader know you're not using a backhoe to bury a hamster."
"I got into a fight with my neighbor over a snowblower. I think our relationship is over."
Enjoy, and keep reading!
Love,
Maggie
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