Funny stuff my professors say: vol. 1

I've gotten into the habit of writing down the funny things my professors say. Here is the first month of hilarity, slightly censored.

[Ian Brodie]

"What's Gaelic for Rick Roll'd?"

"Powerpoint doesn't allow for spontaneous brilliance!"

"Yay! Makin' babies!"

"'Freaky-ass space' is a technical term. You might want to write that down."

"I went to see my hot dentist yesterday. I've never had a hot dentist before."

[student] "Where is she?"

"My dreams..."

"We reenact this really awkward tea party that happened in Gethsemane where Jesus was like, 'Hey man, eat this! By the way, it's my flesh!'"

"Sorry I have to read this to you, but my tones are reasonably dulcet."

[Richard Marchand]

"I've been twisting some arms to get a children's lit section in the library. It's why I've been lifting weights recently."

"When I was a kid, people would say the gypsies would get you. I didn't even know what gypsies were, but they terrified me. That and hobos. If the gypsies didn't get you, the hobos would."

--

"In those days, the great villain was the hobo."

"Bush was... oh, there's Americans in here... can I insult him?"

"One of these days, I'll come in to class and have an outrageous interpretation and someone had better challenge me."

"Reading her is like having a milkshake with a spoonful of vinegar in it... it's like, for God's sake, Christina, have you ever heard of the word fun?!"

"I always want to skip to songs like this."

"I always was afraid the devil would come into my room. Because you don't want to talk to the devil. You just don't."

--

"Ever since that whole devil thing, I've given up sleeping. It's too dangerous."

"You can stand on the desk or something equally flamboyant, wear sequined tights, and proclaim the gospel."

"This is my list of instructions to me."

[Anna Daniels]

"it was the most frightening thing I've ever seen pie come out of in my life. It was very wonderful but also very scary. I didn't eat the pie."

"So far, we've covered Steven Harper, marijuana, and otters. What did you learn in school today?"